Before the Dawn

A beautiful faery woman started forward from the crowd, then halted. It was Emilia, the somewhat naive and ditsy woman who’d decided to show me around the castle the day before. She watched Brand get lifted by the arms and dragged away by John and Rodger. Her mouth opened, and closed. No one in the room said a word as they took the unconscious Brand away to the human world, but I saw a single tear slide down her cheek.

“Well,” Donal said. “That’s that. What time is it?”

“About eleven o’clock, your majesty.”

“Sounds right. I’m exhausted. Let’s get some sleep, everyone!”

“But, sire!” Donal was suddenly surrounded by faeries. “It’s your first night back home, and you just had your glorious victory! We ought to celebrate right away!”

“Tomorrow, tomorrow!” Donal waved them away. “The rest of the kingdom is sleeping; let’s wait until they know the news too, so they can join in.”

“Ah, yes, that is wise. You’re so thoughtful, your majesty.” They backed off, whispering among themselves. “We have until then to plan all the details of the best holiday yet!”

Donal gave a slight shudder and came over to us. He looked relieved as the room began to empty, and what formal manners he had left vanished. “Jinge, carry me to my room!” he leaned and fell forward towards his bodyguard.

Jinge kept him from falling over with one hand. “Not going to happen. I’m still recovering from a mortal wound, remember?”

“Aw!” Donal pouted.

“Will that it really be all right-- for Brand to be in the human world? Won’t he remember eventually?” I interrupted.

Donal straightened up. “I have no idea. It was an experiment!” he grinned. “But I’ll be sure to have people watching him closely. In the meantime, I’m starving! Let’s go get something to eat!”

“Don’t you want to sleep?” Ciaran asked.

“Nope! Not yet. I haven’t eaten since Aunt Maud’s house.”

For a moment, both of them looked like they were about to vomit. “Let’s go to the dining hall.” Ciaran said. We all went and ate whatever scraps were left, but there wasn’t much: leftover lasagna and a strange macaroni salad. None of us talked.

I thought I would sleep heavily and well after that exhausting day, but just as I was about to lay down and sleep, someone knocked on my door.

This was very strange, but I opened it a crack. It was John.

“Hello?” I offered.

“Ashlyn,” he began stiffly. “I just want to say that I’m sorry. And also, thank you. I’ve been waiting a long time to be ordered to do the right thing, and you made that possible.”

It was sweet of him, but his wording annoyed me. “What are you, a tool?” I wanted to ask, but didn’t. He was being sincere, after all. And he was a soldier of sorts. They do have to follow orders.

“I was there when Jinge was put in jail, and I couldn’t do anything to help him, but because of you, the princes worked together to help him. Even though everything has been thrown into chaos ever since, you helped us become the society I wanted us to be. In short, I... I’m sorry that I tried to erase your memories. Can you forgive me?”

I smiled. “Of course.” I stepped out my door, and we hugged for the second time. “How did it go-- creating a past for Brand?”

John leaned his back against the wall of the corridor. “It went all right. We put him in a hospital so his burns could be treated. Rodger is working on the paperwork for his new identity. He’s going to be the only survivor in a house fire. It’ll be difficult to come up with a convincing life story, since he has to start from scratch, but at least I’ll finally be doing something important.”

“Hey!” I said, nudging him. “You were my friend for four years. That was important to me.”

“You didn’t really need me, though.”

I thought of all those times when we had argued, when we’d eaten together, and when I had wanted to strangle him. “I did. I definitely needed you.”

John smiled at me, his glasses catching the light from inside my room. He nodded and left without even saying goodnight. I shrugged, shut the door, and climbed into bed. Just as I was about to fall asleep--

Knock, knock, knock.

Groaning, I got up to answer it. This time it was Emilia, clutching a bundle of cloth.

“This is for you,” she said, her voice unsteady. “I remembered that the green dress I lent you was all you had to wear besides your pajamas, and that it got soaked in the filthy swimming pool, so I brought this.” She held up the cream-colored bundle, which I began to take from her, and then she burst into tears.

I’ve never been good with sobbing adults. Children are fairly easy, since most of them just want to be comforted and held. Crying adults are crazy people who may explode violently when they are upset, and the best way to treat them is never the same. I’m never sure if an upset adult wants to talk, get patted on the back, be sympathized with, or left alone. Emilia, luckily for me, was the kind that didn’t give me time to try the wrong method.

“Ashlyn, he’s gone!” she sobbed, pushing her way into my room and collapsing on the chair dramatically.

I shut the door. “You mean...?”

“Brand.” she finished, wiping her eyes. “I’ll never see him again.”

“Why not?” I sat on my bed.

“If I do, he might remember where he came from! I’m never allowed to go to the human world because I can’t act.”

“I’m so sorry.” was all I could think to say.

“What should I do?” Emilia wailed.

My gaze gravitated to the plump pillow on the bed. Sighing, I asked. “Did he mean that much to you?”

She quieted, taking deep breaths. “I know he was mean, and cruel, and did a lot of bad things, but I’ll never find anyone like him again.”

I tried to recall their previous interaction, which consisted of her talking about fashion, and Brand becoming so annoyed that he left us alone for the entire day.

“I know he didn’t really care for me,” Emilia laughed a little. “But no one could possibly be more handsome and elegant than he is.”

“Emilia, with your looks, you could have any man that you want!” I tried not to yawn. “If he never noticed you, then it’s his loss.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Do you think I could convince the king to make me into Brand’s girlfriend before he lost his memory?”

“Huh?!”

“It could be part of his backstory! If I become human, he can get to know me all over again!”

“Wait, wait, you said you couldn’t act!”

“I could do that much! ....And if I couldn’t, do you think maybe he could erase my memories too?”

I blinked. “What if Brand still didn’t like you? You don’t want to give up everything just to be left alone in the human world, do you?”

She opened her mouth, but I continued.

“It’s really rough out there, especially if you don’t have any family. I only have my mom, and leaving home was super hard for both of us. She was furious when I went to a college in a different state, just because she hates being alone. She stopped talking to me for months. If I didn’t have such good room-mates that semester, I wouldn’t have made it.”

“Oh, I’ll make plenty of friends!”

“Yes, but if Brand leaves you, and let’s face it, he’s a jerk, so he probably will, you’ll be all alone.”

The tears streamed down Emilia’s lovely face. “I’m already alone.” she said.

“Well,” I felt like I’d said too much. “Just something to think about. If you still feel awful, we can ask Donal about it together.”

“Oh, thank you!” She bounced up, wiping her eyes. “You’ll look great in this dress, by the way! I think it will fit your complexion perfectly! Thank you for everything, Ashlyn!” She smiled, left the dress on the chair, and shut the door behind her. 

I couldn’t help but laugh as I finally climbed back into bed. “And she said she can’t act...”